Hogs

Hogs is the result of Spiked Piston + google translate and turns out to be a lot different then normal.

Basically, 3 pigs orbit this tower, kinda like glaives from glaive lord. Costs $1200 on medium

Left path
Long chip ($500)

Pushes a long chip which basically acts like a 1/0/0 spiked piston

Hot pictures ($150)

Puts hot pictures on the long chip to pop lead bloons

Squeeze fingers ($600)

Has fingers made entirely out of long chips and hot pictures that squeeze bloons, same damage, basically acts like a 3/0/0 spiked piston

Chin constraints ($1000)

Makes limitations on chins, this makes bloons confused on why "Hogs" did that, stopping for 1 second every 2.5 seconds while in "Hogs" range

Spikedood ($3000)

All pigs and "squeeze fingers" are now spikedoods (Whatever that is...) popping 3 layers off of each bloon it hits

Middle path
Faster accendl ($500)

Pigs "accendl" 35% faster (Basically meaning that they move faster, I don't even know anymore)

Less fierce ($800)

Tells bloons to be less fierce, so they move 25% slower in this tower's range

The piston in anger ($1500)

Makes an angry 2/2/2 spiked piston, its anger for bloons makes it attacks twice as fast

Blondgrunder ($5000)

Grunds blond hair and throws it at bloons, identical to a 0/0 supermonkey expect that the blond hair pops 2 bloons

Shuffle ($5000)

Shuffle ability: Turns all bloons on screen into cards, shuffles them and burns the first 10 cards, OHKOing the bloons and dealing 1000 damage to blimps burnt, then the cards turn back into bloons, however in a different location

Right path
Hit very important ($500)

Tells towers in its range that hitting bloons is very important, making them 100% accurate

In a soild place ($500)

Every 3 seconds, it puts a non-MOAB class bloon in a soild place, stopping it for 3 seconds

Murmuring ($150)

Constantly makes low, continous sounds that slow down bloons in its range to half speed (Blimps to 80% their speed)

Great knocking ($700)

Greatly knocks on a door every second, having a 35% chance of the door falling and popping 5 layers off of bloons squashed by it

MOAB leaves ($3000)

Turns parts of an MOAB (Just the Massive Ornary Air Blimp or weaker) into leaves and then you may use them as a item to craft other items. This deals 20 damage to MOABs

Trivia
This is my first joke conception (Also first badly translated tower)