User blog:Hypno1337/The bloon dreams

So apparently because I started this I pretty much have to make a story using the story writing skills that I may or may not have and the least-crude of the humor I've developed over the years.

Part 1: The intro-thing
Some time after the 5th war (yet again!), things happened in a city with the title of "plastic city", it's named so due to their massive concrete and sandwich production industries.

/James is just a standard monkey that somehow weilds a rocket launcher.

James: Do you really need to turn on the defence system every day?

/Joe is a "2/2" darling gunner.

Joe: Yes, what else should we do if we're attacked by a horde of bloons?

James: Yeah, you're right, we're only in a heavily fortified city whilst we're not even at war right now...

Joe: We're having the defence system! I paid good money for this thing, of course I'm going to constantly use it!

James: How did you even afford tha-

-A great boom is heard from the side of the house-

James: Did you set the targeting!?

Joe: Yeah, I told you this thing would protect us... Wait... I didn't set it.

James looks out the window on the side of the house the boom was heard.

James: Great, we've been here for less than a month and you already flattened someones house.

Joe: Noone will know.

James: Sure, when they look at the crater in the ground they wont notice the massive gun that probably came off of a battleship mounted on the next-door house pointing directly at the no-longer existing house!

-"Clicking" and "ticking" sounds are coming from outside...-

James: Oh, that must be Ed.

-Soon outside...-

Ed: Tick, Tick, Pop.

Joe: Welcome back!

James: It's a massive shame we don't have, nor have we ever had any idea as to what it's actually saying...

-Joe spots a horde of yellow bloons!-

Joe: Why is there a horde of bloons across the street and the better question is how are they in the city?

James: Oh and look, your fortress-of-a-defense-system isn't even set to target bloons!

-James and Joe see a dart monkey walking backwards from the horde throwing darts toward the group of yellows-

Joe: I'm guessing we should go help him or something

James: Why?

Joe: Well seeing as he's the only other monkey out of this entire city makes it seem like he must be part of the plot somehow.

James: I guess so. (shouting) Hey!

Unknown: Oh he- OHWTFBLIMP!

- In panic the dart monkey threw a dart at Ed however the dart vaporised before reaching it! -

Joe: Well, the force-field works.

Ed: -Random clicking noises-

James: It works perfectly. Oh, and could you not throw darts at Ed?

Unknown: Ok... (slightly terrified)

James: Joe, we should go take down that horde, there should be at least $100 or more there.

-James turns around to see Joe finishing off the last of the horde with his dartling gun.-

Joe: So that just happened, who's even funding us for tearing through bloons anyway?

Unknown: Why are we even discussing thi-

-All of a sudden, a giant bloon robot suit crashes to the ground.-

Joe: What! That doesn't even- you just made that up!

I'll think of a more constructive name later.

-James and Joe are running back while opening fire on the robot whilst "Unknown" hides somewhere, because he's a dart monkey, that's all they do...-

Unknown: Thanks!

-These attacks have no effect, suddenly a massive missile launcher rises from the top of Ed, it fires at the robot suit and punches through the armor which destroys most of the insides and decapitates one of the legs.-

-The robot begins falling to the ground and in a last effort it fires a rocket however this missed everyone (and Ed... Somehow) the missile managed to hit a building and destroy the left half of it.-

James: So, we've wiped out almost 2 buildings in less than an hour.

Joe: Well, it shouldn't be much of a problem to anyone especially seeing as the entire population of the city is 4.

James: Whoever you are, who are you and was that your house that just got removed.

Gordon: I'm Gordon, and that wasn't my house. I don't even live in this city.

Joe: Well, that means that the population is an entire 1/4 less than what I thaught it was...

James: Wait a minute, your defence system wasn't even set to attacking that robot either, was it just programmed to flatten the house nearest to us?

The Characters
Gordon: He's a dart monkey who is probably terrified of Ed, not a lot is known about him.

Joe: He is a dartling gunner who decided to invest in a dangerous defence system that isn't even set to target the enemys.

James:  He is just a monkey who weilds a rocket launcher! He's not impressed with Joes' defence system.

Ed: It's a friendly silver blimp that "communicates" through "clicks" and "ticks", noone understands it at all. It weilds a force-field that is capable of vaporising darts and it holds a rocket launcher that easily wiped out a robot suit I mildly made up on the spot...

Joe: Hah, I knew that robot wasn't an actual thing.