User blog:Forgotten Madness/The Great Bloon War

Ahh...The Great Bloon War. Yes, a very horrifiying war. Hundreds of millions of unfortunate lives lost. I hate to remember this, for I, Sgt. Evan Arzt, have experienced all of it. From the start 'till the finish. Let me start...

3:07 AM, June 12, 1939, Gutlad Forest, Schneeland, -18 Degrees Celsius, The Winter Breach Offensive,
I'm in my winter gear. This is really scary. I'm about to go to war! Why, just why am I here? Fighting mindless balloon creatures that feel nothing? That go in suicidal even if the circumstances are terrible? This will not end well...

"Evan! They've already started! Get your lazy arsch on the plane and get moving! GO! GO! GO!" Oh come on Captain Maximus, does he really have to yell? Oh well, walking up these steps...I'm on the plane. I'll hope my stomach and brain are all right....

The Plane Ride, 5:04 AM, Right Above Fressnur Forest, Offensive has commenced.
"Do you think this is even the solution?" Someone asks. He's just a young monkey who just signed up for adventure. "Mabye, mabye not. We have yet to see." Hopefully my answer was good enough. "Alright- OH GOD! Look down!" He suddenly shouts. Everyone's now looking down. "My...My God......what kind of torture is this?" I ask. The disgusting sight of unfortunate dead monkeys doesn't really appeal to me, much less just plain gore, Bloon remains, glue, shurikens, boomerangs, Blimp remains, engines, broken mortars, what else? "What happened?" Pvt. Reingard asks. "The Offensive, that's what." I answer him.

The horrors of war strike the poor monkey's heart for the first time. "That's...that's not right! Those monkeys deserve a proper death! Should they die, it shouldn't be that way!" He says. I agree. "But this is a war, bodies get left behind, be lucky you weren't in the First Bloon War. Hundreds of thousands of poor monkeys don't have a proper grave." I say. He's now covering his face while crying. I can't blame him. I've heard his father and uncle both died and their bodies never found. "These bloons...they show no mercy AT ALL. You know what, I personally prefer that we show no mercy as well. Guys? I want you.....TO POP THE CRAP OUT OF EVERY SINGLE ONE!" Cpl. Grant says.

"Everyone! Calm down-" The pilot says, but is then interrupted by the sounds of the Offensive. "Alright! We're here! Check your equipment, shout if said person is ok, And prepare your parachutes!" The pilot says once again. This isn't going good...

Alright...we're nearing the offensive...and everything doesn't look so good. From the radio calls we heard along the ride, us Monkeys had the upperhand first then the Bloons suddenly came out with their MOAB Classes. The battlefield also looks really bad, hundreds of dead monkeys lying on the ground, thousands more still fighting. Glue, mortar shells, machine guns, boomerangs, shurikens and even darts fly. All is chaos now.

"Stand, up!" The pilot says. So, we have to stand. Yeah, nothing special. "Hook yourselves up!" He says. I'm grabbing my hook...good. Now I'm hooked to the ceiling railing. "All equipment check?" He shouts. The countdown begins.

"Ten ok!" "Nine ok!" "Eight ok!" Seven ok!" "Six ok!" "Five ok!" "Four ok!" "Three ok!" "Two ok!" " One ok!"

"Good, now wait for the green light!" He says. Wha- "AA GUNS ARE TARGETING US! CHEIF, WE GOTTA GO!" Pvt. Reingard tells me. "NO! WAIT FOR THE GREEN-" The pilot says. BOOM! That...that was close. BOOM! Whoa, we were rocked right there...oh no...Cpl. Grant..is...is..DEAD. "NO! GRANT'S A GONER!" Pvt. Reingard says. The first casualty Reingard has seen. He has much more to see. The Green Light then lights up.

"GO GO GO!" The pilot says, Wait..is that an AA pointed at us? Why do the bloons even bother to have-

BOOM BOOM BOOM "AAHHH!" BOOM "ARZT? WHERE-" BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM "WE'RE GOING DOWN!"

Arzt is now passed out.

Regaining Senses, 6:13 AM, Fressnur Forest, Offensive is on-going.
"Arzt!" A voice calls out. Sounds like Reingard. "Arzt!" I still can't see yet...everything is so blurry... "Arzt! You ok?" The voice asks. "Yes..." I say weakly. Something smells like it's on fire. And I hear background fighting. "Ugh, you look terrible. You got lucky. You and Reingard are the only two survivors of that plance crash. Others, I have no idea. Though I can confirm 4 casualties." Another voice, this time deeper than Reingard's.

My senses fully regained in a few seconds. "Ugh....what...what happened?" I ask Reingard. "Um...it's hard to explain....but...here goes nothing...."

"A 20mm AA Gun pointed at us, then ordered it's buddies to fire at will, on us of course. So we had around 5 to 7 AAs on our trail, eventually they got us. We were falling, and out remaining tried to escape. 3 successfully got out, But the other 4 weren't as lucky as us. So...yeah. Here we are. Also, this other guy is from the 101st Skyborne. The main medic of the 327th Batallion, along with 23 others. He escaped from the mecry of the BFBs- Though barely. He can help. You got multiple cuts as well."

Well...that went faster than expected. I'm supposed to be dead now... "Wait, how exactly did I get these cuts?" I ask Reingard. Looking at myself, I don't see how I could've gotten them. "Also, where's my pack? It had most of my gear." I ask him. "Yeah...your body hit a lot of sharp things..." He replies. I'll say rather vaguely. "Not enough description, also, why did you let me hit those?" He really needs to learn. When in war, you will need to learn. "Yeah, uh, sorry. Anyway, Carter, are his wounds that bad?" Reingard asks the Medic, who is Carter. But I still don't know his first name.

"Well...they aren't THAT bad. Not bad enough for him to bleed to death, bad enough to somehow make him pass out." Carter tells Reingard. "Don't worry. It'll heal. Fast." He reassures me.

"Looks like the Offensive isn't going so well. We gotta get out. Now." Reingard says. Looking at what:s happening miles away, it is true. "But Desertion is an offense." Carter states. "Well then, you choose, Run away, live and be tried for desertion, or stay here, die and be a hero." I say.

"Luckily I know how to fly a plane, I mean, look! We have ourselves a ride! Now we gotta get outta here." Carter says. "Alright then, let's get outta here." I say.

Running up to the plane is harder than expected. We have multiple BFBs looking, If they spot us, they'll launch a MOAB which crashes onto the ground, releasing the kids. Yep, we gotta be stealthy on this one.

Moving towards a hangar- Not spotted yet. Good enough. Luckily the plane wasn't far.

I see an open space..not good. Not good. Especially since that's exactly where our ride is.

"Um...Carter..we have a problem.." I say to Carter. "Yeah, our main problem. Wait, what distracts MOAB Classes?" He asks me. Hmm.... "Make random noises?" I say. I nearly raised my voice on that one. I nearly made a load enough sound to attract our little friends.

"Wait, scratch any ideas. They appear to be leaving. And also notice how the noises stopped? Means we lost. Now let's get outta here. We have other things to attend to." Carter says. Good, the MOAB classes are leaving right now. At least there's nothing to worry about..to say the least.

Plane Ride, Destination, Merilyn Beach, 8:17 AM
"Crap! We got a MOAB on our trail!" Carter says once he starts the plane. As if this can't get any worse. Wait, the plane's starting...."Good to go! Get in!" Carter yells. Reingard and I get in, looks ok.

So we're in a flying plane, with a MOAB chasing us.

"Dammit, ugh, fine. I'll distract it, you two get out and we'll rendezvous at Merilyn Beach, got that?" Carter says to us. "Alright." I say.

Switching to Carter's view

Sounds stupid. But I gotta do it. "Alright, we're right under the Bloontonium Forest. Now get out!" I yell at the two. They're getting out.....good. Now all I need is to crash into the water...jump out at the last second...and wait until the MOAB leaves. They aren't water pressure proof after all.

Alright...nearing the water...just need to get closer...and here we are! I'm out!

SPLASH!

Switching to a Sniper Monkey's view who happens to be watching

Whoa! What was that? First I see a plane, next I see it crash land into the water! What's that MOAB doing as well? Whoa....it crashing into the beach...and now it's gone! And there are the kids.... my sniper rifle is a MOAB Cripple. But the MOAB already crashed so...

I wish I got the pop.

Hey...there's a head...with Aviator gear...a monkey pilot! So I'm not the only one who survived! But unfortunate for him to be chased by a MOAB....let me take care of 'em.

Switching back to Carter's view

Great. I'm stuck here in water, and the MOAB's kids are waiting. What do I do now? What do I have...lemme see...I have a Boomerang....and a Pinapple Bomb. "Hey flying circles! Have a taste of the Pineapple Express!" I shout, and I just threw the Pineapple.

BOOM!

They just took damage. Dammit!

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Whoa! What was that?

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Now they're trying to run....too bad. Whatever's trying to pop them, will pop all of them.

Pop! Pop!

That's the last of them, it's safe to go out. I'm sure of it. So now I'm walking out of the shore, onto the beach, and now..what. A Sniper Monkey is waiting?

"Oh, you're the pilot who crash landed? Glad to help you outta that one." The Sniper says. "Thanks, my name's Carter Graves, Medic of the 327th Batallion. Happen to see any other monkeys?" I ask him. "No, I tried to escape from the offensive, I got trapped in a ZOMG, which got destroyed, fortunately, then was still trapped in a MOAB till it blew up for no apparant reason. I pass out for a few hours, then I regain my senses, and now I'm here" He tells me.

"Well, looks like you could be a friend, and I have two more who I need to rendezvous with at this beach. I dropped them off at the Bloontonium Forest." I say. "Bloontonium Forest? That's unfortunate for them to be dropped off. I can understand, especially when you're desperate...but that was a bad idea. You know how long the war for Bloontonium's been going on for." He tells me. "I know, and that's why I need someone to help me get my friends' asrches outta there."