Post

The Post is a very strange and useless tower. Post is the short form of its name. Don't ask its real name. Its full real name is: Postoscamuphucaduasexenaimetacutotimousse. It costs $√-0.2 and its attack is A Tack does no damage at all.

Path 1
A Tack Well what ya know, it now attacks with a tack. He throws a tack at bloons. Duh?

Extra Letter The Post now hates his name and wants a new one. So he does. His full name becomes Postoscamuphucaduaxenaimetacutotimoussee.

5-Minute Crafts He now leaves the game every 5 minutes to make some arts and craft junk while watching the 5-Minute Crafts Youtube channel.

Get Over Hare!!! Scorpion from MK11 dressed like a bunny rushes to the game and yells "Get over here". Post obeys and comes back.

Get Over There!!! Post gets annoyed at Scorpion saying wrong so he orders him to get over there so he walks away.

Path 2
A Milisecond Post causes a milisecond to be passed without you controlling the game.

Get Serious You Idiot!!! Post now undetstands that he must be serious to win the battle against the bloons. So he quits being an idiot and throws a tack at bloons.

What Starts With "F" And Ends With "U-C-K" Asking the question: "What starts with 'F' and ends with 'U-C-K'?" The bloons answer wrong by saying the F-Word. Post then smacks them and yells that the answer is Firetruck.

Clash Of Worlds Post causes the Blooniverses to collide together and create a universal threat.

Invasion As the Blooniverse collide. Alien bloons invade. Post does nothing.

Path 3
Crash Post causes a racing car to crash into the track

Crash Again A huge stack of plates fall to the track with a loud crash.

Yet Again Crash Post causes an airplane to crash into the track.

Crash STILL?!? A party full of monkeys gets crashed by an idiotic bloon.

For God's Sake End This Crash Stuff Already!!! Two words: Game crashes.

Path 4 (WTF?!)
There's a special path 4 unlocked by paying 200 Monkey Money. It has no upgrades. Only an idiot would buy it.

Path 5 (Again WTF)
A Tacks Post starts attacking bloons with tacks at hypersonic speeds. But causes nearby towers and bloons to make fun of him for using terrible grammar.

Who Made You Morons The Grammar Police Post yells at nearby bloons and towers and asks who made them the grammar police.

Spam Post starts to spam useless words on the screen.

Donald Trumpet He starts to blow a trumpet with Donald Trump's face on it.

Donald Duck He now starts to talk in a way similar to Donald Duck's.

Trivia

 * It shall not be explained why no costs are given for this tower.
 * It is very similar to the Nabumbasquormble.